Beware of the Babyman.
In the words of J.Lo “ I ain't your mama” is a statement I feel should be permanently etched into the prenuptial agreement or at the very least the sentiment. Do you take woman A to be your wife and promise never to expert her to be your mummy? Of course, if this is your thing mothering a fully grown man then happy days and lucky you. I hear there’s an abundance of babymen around, especially if you’re looking for a south Asian dude. Asian mums are particularly good at producing babymen with a strikingly high success rate.
If however, it’s not to your liking then before you embark on a potentially long term relationship (I'm talking marriage here) then you will do well to watch out for the warning signs. If a man (let’s say 30 plus) has never made himself a meal or cut a piece of fruit or washed his own clothes then take note. If he can’t tell you the last time he changed his bedsheets or put his breakfast bowl into the kitchen sink TAKE NOTE.
“If he thinks Domestos and Flash are marvel action heroes then fook me get the bill and walk on.”
A babyman will want you to feed him, clean up after him, wash his clothes basically continue all the duties mummy did. You will be an extension of his mama and if you’re really unfortunate his mother will expect the same.
Cooking, cleaning, laundry, picking up objects are basic skills everyone should have no matter what their gender. Having two skills out of five shouldn't be a benchmark for a lucky find. Why even in today’s modern world do we women compensate for a man's lack of basic skills? Perhaps it’s due to such profoundly ingrained historical culture or are we just resigned to the fact our job is to… well nag?
Why does the statement “well at least he does the dishes” immediately elevate anyone with a d*** and make it ok that he does f*** all else?
We march in solidarity of equal pay and opportunities and yet are willing to bypass basic equality in our relationships. Uselessness should not be excusable on the grounds of gender after all men are not the only ones going out to work anymore. Let’s collectively stop justifying shockingly shite upbringing and this sense of male entitlement to being served.
“Mothers who have sons, don’t you dare raise a useless shit and expect someone else's daughter to mop up the mess.”
Give your children, all your children the skills they need to live productive healthy lives. Don’t send your son into a high stake game armed with “I only do beans on toast” because let me tell you now he will be told to return home. There is only one woman that deserves the company of a babyman and that’s his mama. So you hold on tight to that fully grown buddle of joy.
Marriage is a gamble and both players need to come armed with at least the basic entry requirements. Babymen can seem cute and fun at the start but trust me give it a few years and throw in an actual real-life baby and you got yourself a useless ass shit. My suggestion at this point is to invoice his mother for childcare costs.
